The Doves Home...

I have Wisteria vines growing up my back two story porch. My porch ends right at my bedroom window. I love laying in my bed waking up in the morning and watching the sun rise...I also like to star gaze at night to a pitch black sky...for that reason I have no drapes on my bedroom windows (don't worry neighbors live pretty far away). In these quite moments I am able to feel closer to my Creator and all that he has done for us...

For the past two years I can tell you I have found solice in my bedroom, tinkering away on my laptop, listening to worship music or messages and spending precious cave time with the Lord. This has been one of my favorite weekends because I have been alone to do just that...

So it is Pentecost weekend and guess what, two doves have decided to build a nest and roost in my wisteria, they have been building that nest all weekend. Doves are a symbol for the Holy Spirit in the Word...and evidently the Lord is giving me a visual reminder that His Spirit is taking residence not only in my home but around it. I feel comfort in the presence of these doves, they have been visiting me for some time eyeing my wisteria and walking through the jungle of it...

I believe it is no small coincidence they built a nest on Pentecost...but that is just me...I see God in nature and in times and seasons...I'm going to download some pics for you and I'm hoping that you can see her roosting and nesting as he travels and brings back supplies to build their home...




Song of Solomon 2:14 My dove, in the hiding places of the rocky crevices, in the secret places of the cliffs, let me see your figure and hear your voice. Your voice is sweet, and your figure is lovely."

The Cave Experience

I have been having a "cave experience" during the past couple of years. I didn't even realize it for a while. After all, during this time I have continued to be a single Mom, a Nurse practitioner working full time juggling chemo and medical treatments....nonetheless I reside in a cave....I find I can't even begin to tell my friends all that happens here, some of it is so precious there are not words, literally, no words. Some of it is gut-wrenchingly painful, and again there are no words. Then there are days like today when the peace and grace of God so drenches me that I hope I never forget these moments, nor do I wish to be far from them...worship is precious here because it is heart to heart with Jesus...In this time I have found physical healing for an incurable disease. Healing for such grievous wounds I didn't know that I would ever be the same. I felt His love in such a palpable way I could only cry and lay prostate humbled completely by that knowing. I have felt such deep loneliness for like minded saints I thought my heart would break. Further, I have understood more acutely I am an alien in a foreign land. I have learned to completely empty myself out of every preconceived notion of what my life was to be, opening it up to whatever it is He calls me to...I love it that He loves me enough to heal me, guide me, and commune with me in this way...it is a privilege....

I have to wonder...What did Moses learn in the desert after he murdered and fled Egypt? What did Elijah learn in the cave as he hid from Jezebel? What did David learn as he fled from Saul all those years? What did Paul learn after the Damascus road? What did Jesus learn in the desert? Cave experiences prepare us for something...I believe God endues us with knowledge, wisdom, and strength that will be needed for the coming years or for a life call... Preparation sometimes is difficult, but no one can prepare us better than the Creator to help us find our lives we are willing to lose...I believe the Word and one of the most significant things I think Christ ever said in the Bible is in John...

John 14:12 "I assure you: The one who believes in Me will also do the works that I do. And he will do even greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.

How are we going to find out what those greater works are unless we have spent some personal intimate time with him. I encourage everyone to first believe Him, and second, find Him....set your entire being to believing in Him and in the work he has called you to...God speed to all of us on this journey to this world we are aliens to...




Acts 17:27 He has done this so that they would look for God, somehow reach for him, and find him. In fact, he is never far from any one of us.

Pentecost season

Today is the last day of the 3 days we celebrate Pentecost. Actually the church does not even give creed to this holiday for the most part, but I would challenge each of us to dwell on the incredible significance of this time. Even Paul rearranged his travels to be in Jerusalem on Pentecost...

Acts 20:16 Paul had decided to sail past Ephesus to avoid spending time in the province of Asia. He was in a hurry to get to Jerusalem for the day of Pentecost, if that was possible.

1 Corinthians 16:8 In the meantime, I will be staying here at Ephesus until the Festival of Pentecost.

Why was Pentecost so important to Paul and the other Apostles that they celebrated it? You can read about it in Acts 2 but Peter addresses the entire crowd stating the following...

Acts 2:15 These people are not drunk, as some of you are assuming. Nine o'clock in the morning is much too early for that. 16 No, what you see was predicted long ago by the prophet Joel: 17 'In the last days,' God says, 'I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. 18 In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on my servants-- men and women alike-- and they will prophesy. 19 And I will cause wonders in the heavens above and signs on the earth below-- blood and fire and clouds of smoke. 20 The sun will become dark, and the moon will turn blood red before that great and glorious day of the LORD arrives. 21 But everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.'

The Holy Spirit was the assurance that we ALL could find Christ's power alive and well in us...not just the Levitical Priesthood, or the Apostles, or just the Jews, but each one of us who call on the name of the Lord to be saved...THAT is POWERFUL

Ephesians 1:19-20 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power in us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 which he accomplished in Christ when he raised him from the dead and made him sit at his right hand in the heavenly places

Pentecost was about the Holy Spiriting abiding IN US as believers, it EMPOWERS us to live as He would desire (that is grace). It allows us to be conquers in this world where Satan roams. I don't know about you but I believe all Christians should celebrate this day more than any other...

Father God loves us all so much and He has made every provision for us to be successful in THIS life...TODAY

There is none like You...

Two years ago my life completely changed. I was married and on the way to adding a child to our family through international adoption. I thought my future was set and I thought it was bright. We had just moved into our dream home with extra rooms ready to fill with children. We both had settled into careers we felt called by God to do. Then it all seemed to change in an instant. I was diagnosed with RA, my husband left and filed for divorce, and that adoption was lost to another family. I was CRUSHED, I was devastated, I was deflated. I also went into survival mode as I started undergoing chemo. I could not process the pain, or the loss, or the grief I felt at that time...I had to walk away from it in a sense and just let God take care of me. That he did...I for one was miraculously healed 8 months ago from this dreaded disease ending the course of chemo and 13 meds total. He helped me to resolve the fact I have two children He has given me to parent and I have learned to have peace in that. I'm finding I'm more and more content in being single because I feel less and less alone. I have NO plan where I am to walk long term...I have NO IDEA as to what He is calling me to in my life's work...but what I can tell you is I have faith in His plan for my life...



I was on a tight wire and was suddenly and unexpectedly taken off balance...I'm learning to fall trusting Him to catch me. In fact I even sometimes get that expectant stomach flip right before the catch. I'm also learning to stay there in midair suspended by Him...and I'm learning to rest there until He sets me upright again...I use to fight the unbalance, the fall, the catch, and the suspension but you learn things in all those places you would never know about any other way, and they all have to do with the intimacy we can only share with Christ, one on one, face to face, heart to heart... it is a precious place...for those of you who know me and at times worry, do not...pray, but don't worry, for the Great I AM holds me even in the fall....




2 Corinthians 1:4 He comforts us whenever we suffer. That is why whenever other people suffer, we are able to comfort them by using the same comfort we have received from God.

Graduation, Prom and Lynns Paradise Cafe...

My daughter graduated from High school and attended prom in the same night a week ago today. I will post some pictures of these events and you can see why my biased is well founded in both my children, they are honestly the better than a mother could hope or dream for... I was divorced from my children's father when they were 4 & 6. I got remarried to another man when they were 6 and 8. I never thought that marriage would end...

When I was diagnosed with RA and decided to start chemo my second husband left. I was devastated, I did not know how in the world I was going to maintain my home, be a mother, home school my son and work full time while undergoing treatment. In these times you have no choice but to survive, but not one day did I feel strong in my efforts, in every day I had to find a strength not my own. My self esteem which I never gave thought to previously plummeted.

On Allie's graduation/prom day. I wanted to have a celebration of family and friends for her at the home but in all honestly I did not think I could get my home ready for 20-30 guests, get all the food prepared and enjoy the day. At my mothers suggestion I decided to have lunch at Lynn's Paradise Cafe instead. Anyone who knows Louisville knows it is just good food and zany times to eat at Lynn's Paradise.

I just had one issue...for me it is DIFFICULT to deal with both exes...I had not talked to Alan in months, I wanted this to be about Allie and what she needed but I can't help but to tell you it was agonizing for me. I processed this scenario with my friends and I dealt with most my feelings before the day arrived...Once closing school ceremonies ended graduation followed. I have to tell you the girls wear white dresses and carry a bouquet of roses, it is so reminiscent of a wedding procession it is enough to make any mother cry...I held back my tears...but there we all were blended family sitting in the first two pews supporting our girl, she was more than ecstatic having us all there and I was so glad I got over myself just watching her beam... :)

Lunch at Lynn's was lovely she received more than enough funds to buy her expensive camera for her photojournalism class, a laptop, dorm linens, a trunk, a refrigerator...and the list goes on, the girl cashed in...But something happened to all of us that day... there was peace there, and somehow we were all gracious, it became about what we had all contributed to her life as a team, it was a wonderful day... A day that healing began...who knew :)

Enjoy the pictures to follow :)



1 Corinthians 15:10 But by God's grace I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not ineffective. However, I worked more than any of them, yet not I, but God's grace that was with me.

Disease and Plastic Surgery

Slightly over two years ago I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). I had a pretty fast escalating case of it. I was hit in about every joint on both extremities, including hip joints. I was quickly started on many medicines (13) to combat this disease and besides high doses of steroids one of them was chemo. I was put on methotrexate and although this can be a common treatment for many with RA who have very little side effects from it, I was affected greatly at the doses I was required to take to treat the severity of disease. When I started chemo I took it weekly and the first two doses were oral. That was a tremendous mistake for me. My intestines swelled to the point I ruptured my abdominal wall. I was not well enough to undergo surgery. I took chemo and multiple other drugs to treat the RA after a year and a half and incredible searching on my part I found healing, and it was a miraculous healing occurring suddenly and enabling me to come off all my meds immediately. That was 8 months ago. Just as I found healing for the RA I applied all the same things to this abdominal hernia and thyroid disease. So far I have not experienced healing for the hernia or thyroid. As of late I find it difficult to eat or drink anything, it just became time to surgically deal with the hernia. I'm also having a tummy tuck procedure with the hernia repair. I will have my entire abdominal wall reconstructed. For all those curious I will be posting photos, yes before and after. If you find those kinds of things gruesome don't look. I'm giving you fair warning at the onset. My surgery date is June 12th. Right around the corner...

Psalm 103:3 He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.

Welcome

Welcome to my blog! I'm going to be talking about so many different subjects but all that affect me in the here and now. The one thing I will always bring up is Christ in my life. Jesus is not a far off God for me but a companion I have lived with for 42 years. The best I can remember I was six years old when I had my first encounter with Christ that was life changing. I am open and will respond to any comments or questions that are not derogatory in nature. I love interaction that encourages growth and encouragement. So lets get to it ;)

1 John 1:3 We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.