Hunter

Don't we all brag about our kids...I just am going to talk about Hunter just for a moment. I don't know what I would do without my boy....he makes me LAUGH every day....I LOVE that God gave me exactly who he is....He is one of my greatest supporters, I go to him for sound advice, and he cares for me like no one I know. This is a boy who helped me with chemo, my dressings after surgery, he was my "walker", and gopher, he checked in on me just because and he kissed me as I drowsed...I'm grateful, in love, and laughing all at the same time...He came in and grabbed my laptop as his phone rang, such a typical teenager photo opportunity I couldn't help but to snap a couple...

Hunter got his braces off a few weeks ago after 5 years of the metal...I LOVE his teeth and smile, and dimples...and...and....OK I will stop...

Post-Op Day 17

Alright well, this was the lowdown...I went out today on 3 errands, lunch, Macy's, and Verizon...

I had such a good lunch (we ate breakfast...so good) with a long-term friend today, we had so much catching up to do and it was just precious time, the kind of conversations that you don't share with anyone else, they just stay between you too. I have so much respect for her, to see how people grow after knowing them 18+ years is one of my favorite things of having longtime friends, I realize I really just love her...I'm fortunate and we defiantly need to spend more time together...one of the coolest things we will share is she went into labor with her daughter coming to see me two weeks after I had Allie, so our girls are 2 weeks apart and have chosen to go to the same college, so we will have even further opportunity to see each other...

then I went to Macy's for a little spa treatment and then I did a tad of shopping...guess what, I don't really fit into women's sizes anymore....I had to go to the junior department, dig that stuff! I was happy, cuter clothes, but at Macy's they are not too young looking, just stlyin'. A dress, dressy shorts, and 3 shirts were purchased...then I hit the shoes...and I really needed some shoes, I actually seemed to go down .5 a size seriously, pretty kool except what do I do with my other shoes...OH NO, I might have to purchase more...One thing I will tell you is I like to be a fashionesta...but I am a typical nurse in that I have work clothes and comfy stuff...it is kinda nice to buy some casual cute stuff just cause that is what I will be wearing this summer and at this point I absolutely have almost nothing to wear...I'm certainly not my smallest size I will be and I know that, that is why I'm getting more shirts (that won't change a lot) and less pants...but I have to be presentable...I just like looking nice....it doesn't have to be expensive....but wow it is really incredible the body change and how it makes me feel...

I don't think women talk enough about how treatment for a chronic disease affects your sense of self and self esteem. I will tell you treatment with a divorce right on top of it...it flattened me. I did not know I COULD be that flattened but I certainly found myself there....I'm beginning to feel like I'm getting myself back....I'm feeling like I have a sense of self that I have not had in a LONG time. I'm not avoiding mirrors...and when I catch that glimpse of myself in one I smile....what is THAT! I'll let someone take my picture...all things I have not done in about 2.5 years and it has felt like a very long time....I'm feeling joy unspoilable by anyone or anything...and listen, be clear about this, it is not vanity peeking through, what it is about is being redeemed by my Maker in a new fresh way....it is a very sweet time. Health has invaded my cells again and I can not put into words what it feels to have that refreshment pumping through my veins, I feel more alive than dead, that is a certain reversal from knocking on the door to give up this earthly body...I have hope now, and I am working towards full body health...I've lost 18 pounds! Go ahead say it (You GO girl!)... Do I still have work to do yes, absolutely I do, but you know what the end of the tunnel is in view....I'm gonna be that girl that one year was taking chemo and the next RUNNING a 5K. You watch...I just have to allow my body the time it needs to heal BUT my diet is working...I'm healing and I'm spending tons of time in the Word...that is kinda nothing new except for the fact the ground the Word is falling on is different ground....and that means there is a different harvest....

Alright not gonna talk about the Verizon trip....it just took forever....it was too long and I got to the point of pain from standing when I was there...

Now post-op day 17, am I sore yes, can I overdo it? I absolutely have been one of those people in the past to do just that, this is the thing, I'm NOT lifting anything heavier than my laptop. I'm out running errands now ( I wouldn't have done Verizon had I known how long it would be today)...but I do them in spurts with a day of rest in between. Tomorrow I'll do very little, except maybe make a bank run, some laundry and cleaning my room and bathroom...the rest of the day I will be in the recliner. I don't run the sweeper, I dust, I'll clean the toilet, that is about as hard as it is going to get. I don't scrub, bend over from the waist, or lift. I take Tylenol #3 for pain on days like this. I need something a little stronger for night...and I'm hoping for that when I see the Doc on Wednesday but otherwise I sleep about 5 hours wake-up take more meds and try and fall asleep again...

I think I'll update more sporadically now vs daily as far as post-op days. This just takes time and there is not as much day to day change....I'll continue to blog whenever about my life....and I know you all want some more pictures....my daughter is away so probably not this week...but I will get to them....

So here is the new haircut

Alright, so here is the new haircut, it really is not that much different I just have layers on the sides....to me it makes a drastic difference...I couldn't get great pics of it but these are the best...enjoy

I'm doing fine today, really there is nothing new to report recovery wise...I'm just holding my own...OH besides the fact I am down a total of 18 pounds BUT I still have swelling and healing to do on the sides especially, it will come with time....

2 weeks since surgery....

Today is exactly 2 weeks since I had surgery....at one point last week I didn't think I would feel as recovered as I do on day 14...you have to realize this is a slower process with multiple procedures...Because I feel the pull I am afraid at times to carry my purse, lifting the laptop is absolutely the max amount of weight I'm capable of lifting, the max. I can't scrub, run the vacuum or bend over except to squat. I am guarded with moving, I don't walk at a normal pace. I can't do distance, I have little stamina. YET... I feel like I am doing well. I can bathe and get myself ready alone but it takes about 2 hours. It normally takes me about 45 minutes for shower, hair and make-up. I just have to rest through it. I have skin treatments that take a bit longer than normal. I have to say I probably take a longer shower LOVING the feel of warm water on my skin, it doesn't hurt or burn and it just relaxes me, I have not soaked in a tub yet but I don't know if I should with my incision, that is something I'll ask the doc on Wednesday, I don't know if I SHOULD be in pool water or bath water at this point. All my steri-strips are removed now...

OK, so short update, tomorrow I might get Allie to take some more pics, just to document the pictorial progress...

Post-Op Day 12

So, I didn't post yesterday but how could I. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died. They were icons in my generation. Almost every boy I knew had a poster of Farrah either in their bedroom or dorm room. Not only that Lee Majors son lived in Lexington where I grew up. It was always big news when Lee Majors and Farrah came to visit all over the high school circuit and I didn't even know his son but I heard...I loved Farrah's candor and honesty and the fact that she was beautiful but smart, and part of the smartness was she knew her real value layed in WHO she was not WHAT she was to everyone. She also always portrayed to me that was much more than a pretty face...and I loved that about her. I think we see all that in her documentary...what a woman of courage....



Michael...WOW, I grew up with him, literally, he changed the face of music for all of us. He was one reason we dropped our inhibitions and grooved on the floor. Not only that because he created so many various dance moves in that he taught by example to use our bodies to feel the music and become it...I use to scoot around the living room dancing to anything I could starting at about age 2, my mom use to talk about it, I danced with a professional company finally giving it up in the 10th grade but the dance never leaves the dancer. In college I joined EKU's dance troupe and hit the floor at the "Dog" on Thursday nights TO MANY of Michael's songs....Like others in my generation if did feel like the day Elvis died to me yesterday and I'm sure in future years many of us will know just what we were doing when we heard this news....



OK, so what was I doing...on post-op day 12, I got my hair done yesterday and I have to say this is one of my most favorite cuts I've ever gotten....I LOVE it and I can't say that I have loved my hair since it was shorn from chemo till now...it has taken me 2 years to have a good hair day...and I'm looking forward to many more...I'll post some pics later....



My body, I took pain meds yesterday just because it was a lot getting my hair done, I have to, so I can endure things like that well. The best thing I can tell you is because my entire abdomen was done the whole thing is affected. I feel like it is all a big scab and even shirts irritate it. The numbness is wearing away BUT it has that scab feeling first and that is part of the process of healing that it takes. My skin has become extremely sensitive to tape adhesive and I have some rashes I don't normally get. I am using Mcderma to the scars and tons of body cream....I have to take pain meds to sleep...seriously...Tylenol #3 doesn't cut it at night, I'm going to have to talk to my surgeon about it Wednesday when I go see him, because this is not going to resolve by then, it still really pulls to lay in bed. I'm elevated on at least 3-5 pillows with one under my knees or I'd be in the recliner. I take a muscle relaxant and one percocet 5 for bed and I'm still waking up through the night with that in pain, through the day I'm fine with minimal activity. I HAVE KEPT EXACT doctors orders since I came home...and I'm really trying to not over do it. Even eating is affected I get about 10 bites in and I'm done for a meal. I eat two small meals a day (1/2 of one for lunch and the other 1/2 for dinner) and drink OJ in the morning. Right now I'm doing fruits, veggies, meat minimal bread and no sweets but natural things like juice and fruits. No cakes, pies, pop tarts, ice cream etc. This is about health for me....and some lifestyle changes :)



So that was day 12...;)

Post-Op Day 11

Well, today was interesting to say the least...I got up this morning around 8:30 was in my recliner reading and in comes my daughter..."Mommy, I need some bras, go to Victoria Secret with me". Well, the truth is I was right there with her, and I needed to exchange some things I got at Target yesterday...so to the shower I went in order to do a little shopping....And I took a little pain med for the affair. And I started with McDerma today for scar healing....I still have a very difficult time wearing things that rub my abdomen, it feels like friction on an open scab to be honest. Tylenol 3 helps...

I just have to say....I LOVE VS...no one and I mean no one makes bras as pretty, as comfortable, or as good a fit as VS. When you hit the right one it is just right. I have never been "get a standard bra off a hanger kinda girl", I evidently didn't bring one up either. We shopped for bras and panties for about an hour, what a luxury...after that we decided toes and nails were in order so I got a pedi and she got a mani....what a fun day BUT this girl is EXHAUSTED. And I mean EXHAUSTED.

Two outings, two days in a row, today I pushed it...I'm sure I will be in bed earlier than normal...

So I'm going to back track just a bit here....bra/panty bathing suit shopping is either a good thing or a devastating thing for us facing ourselves in a full-length mirror....something is happening to me...and it is a feeling I have not had in a very long time....I'm begging to actually feel pretty....I don't mean attractive, and I don't mean "hot" but things are changing for me. I can try on things I could not before and I can actually wear some of them....I'm sure when I was diagnosed with RA and started popping steroids like candy ballooning 85 pounds, I didn't go through things many women have not gone through with chronic disease. I did not have to loose a body part or be disfigured by an accident to have devastating self esteem effects, and for the first time in my life I understood the added anguish many carry with them that are chronically ill. It is not just the illness that you have to deal with, it is loosing yourself. I went from average to obese and I did it quickly. I went from active to pain and to the walls of my bedroom. I will tell you now 50 of those pounds are gone and this surgery drastically altered my body for the better, I am so grateful. If I had lost all the rest of my weight I would never have had flat abs...I'm grateful for the transformation this hernia allowed me to undertake.....I can see the light now, I feel a hope of full health for the future. I'm not just going to get healthy I'm going to be thin, I'm going to be a runner...

Saying those words is really a miracle for me. 2 years ago I could barely move, It took 2 hours to get ready for work, I was on about 13 meds including chemo, I was loosing my hair, getting divorced...I couldn't do anything but work. It is amazing to me 2 years later this is where I am.

All I can say is PRAISE GOD! I was so fortunate to find the keys that unlocked a miraculous healing through Christ...I never prayed for my self esteem during this time, Honestly, it did not even occur to me. Listen, I'm not one of those people who are caught up on looks but it is important for each of us to find peace with who we are. All of us need to find comfort in our spiritual, emotional and physical health, and I believe in that order. My physical health was miraculously restored when it came to RA, that opened the door for full body healing...the emotional goes right along with that, it is a process...

So today as I relax...I'm just meditating on the goodness of God, what He has done for me I will never forget...and I will imprint His goodness to me on my heart...

Prayer for Ella..

Yesterday I received a message from one of my best friends and one of the most precious woman I have ever met and I just have to introduce you to her a bit. Yvonne and I met at UK in the NICU, she was a pediatric and medicine resident, which means she was double boarded. And I'm going to stop here too and say she was at the TOP of her med school class. Yvonne was not just smart she was real...I adored her from the moment we met, we instantly connected and one night when she was on call as I cared for premi-babies, and she wrote orders, we became fast friends racing through our lives in conversation growing tentacles of friendship that would ever endure. When I flipped and rolled my SUV on the highway with Hunter aboard (he was 4)surrounded by broken glass and twisted metal...I called 911, then I called Yvonne. She met us in the ER and cared for Hunter as he was treated. I will never forget the comfort I felt when she walked in the room with Hunter on her hip. He was in his T-shirt and his spiderman skives. She had his head covered with gauze where he soon receive stitches. I remember as I tearfully touched his arm and asked him if he was OK, she comforted me by saying every rugged handsome man has at least one face scar...I so appreciated her in that moment....and as she walked out she promised she would not leave my son...Yvonne ended up finishing her residency and getting married to a fellow physician (a talented vascular surgeon). Their life took them to Michigan and after settling in she had one boy, then another, then TRIPLETS, and recently they added the sixth addition to their family. She has one precious daughter Ella, and Ella was born with a heart defect which was going to acquire surgery in the "future". Ella is one of her triplets, her only daughter, precious to her siblings and her Mommy and Daddy, 3.5 years old, with a mop of light brown ringlets that cover her head. This is the message I received from Yvonne yesterday....

Lori,
I know your faith in God is strong. I was wondering if you could pray for my little girl Ella. She is 3 1/2 now and will be having open heart surgery on July 15 for Corrected Transposition of the Great Arteries. It is a huge surgery and a very tough recovery.I so appreciate it. To say the least, I am scared. She will be having it at U of M in Ann Arbor by Dr. Bove.Thanks Lori, you have been with me through so much.

This is Miss Ella


Saints prayer works...and I ask each of you to dig deep and pray for this child and family. God is her creator, He knit Ella in her mothers womb, He makes no mistakes. Ella was born in a country where she can have surgery to help correct her heart defect and give her a long future. Please pray that the surgeons hands are exceptionally skilled that day, that there are no complications, that Ella has easily managed pain and recovers astoundingly. Pray for the peace that passes all understanding for her parents. Saints we walk not by sight, and not by fear, but we walk with a sound mind understanding clearly God is good, and He miraculously heals. He is the one who works all things together for good.

Saints please intercede with me for this family...and confess the good outcome with a glad heart. I will keep you updated, and if you would like leave comments as Mama visits my blog...

Post Op Day 11

Alright, today I left my home for the first time for a quick trip to Target. I HAD to get some sweats that actually fit as things are falling off :) I'm only allowed to walk a culdesac's worth so I barely went anywhere in Target but at least I got out of the house. OK, so today I'm 16 pounds lighter. WOW this is starting to feel like it was worth it. I'm still swollen I'm still waiting for things to shift and I should loose a total of 18-19 or so from the surgery along with what I lost before hand. I'm on my way but remember this girls goal is to RUN and to run a 5 K by October. To go from a devastating diagnosis, chemo for 1.5 years, then a miraculous healing, coming off 13 meds, and no sign of RA, then this surgery has been a ride. I feel so privileged to be able to share about the supernatural power of Christ and how it changes my life in real time. Know that what Christ has done for me He can do for you too. He LOVES each of us whom he has created so much. He has made every provision for us to be successful, healed, and flourishing in this life, it is ours for the taking. I have come to see most people don't believe or know about these aspects of Christ, the church has largely failed by giving us religion vs. Christ crucified. Let me encourage everyone of you to seek Him out yourself, find Him in the Word, find Him in prayer, find Him in worship and praise....how ever you have to get to Him, find Him, and your life will be forever changed....God bless you all on your journey....and meditate on the truth of the following quote...

"God said to me I'm not going to do what you can do, but I'll do what you can't" Victoria Osteen

The Kids...

I can't believe I have made so many posts without talking about the kids....last night I wish everyone I knew had been in my room to experience what the three of us did. Hunter was simply teasing Allie, and using his "girl" voice talking about why she felt how she did, and Allie was just looking at him like he was from another planet as he kinda just nailed her. It was HILARIOUS to watch, I was laughing so hard and trying not to, and trying to tell Hunter to stop, but we all just ended up in fits of laughter... those two might be as opposite in some ways as day and night but they love each other and some how this dynamic of "our family" works. Here is a recent pic of the kids at Allie's graduation lunch that is one of my favorites, since then Hunter has had a hair chop AND has his braces off...even as teenagers they change pretty fast.....

the Garden

These light pink lily's are so fragurant...and beautiful :)

Our little garden angel

Thes lily's are always so beautiful to me, these were given to me by my Mom after my nephew died, orange was his favorite color, I do think of him when these bloom, this is one of my last surviving blossems...

I plant these planters every year soon as spring comes...I love the red gerber dasies...

OK so I decided to take a walk outside while my son was weeding over the new mulch he placed...and I just had to take some pictures (my lily's are blooming) I thought I would share with you....something a little different than body parts might be a nice change....Our Venus statue is actually broken in half (but you can't tell with her draping). He said we were like twins ...I thought that to be pretty funny.

Post-Op Day 10 (photos)

So as I promised I had pictures taken today this was after having a binder on over a t-shirt so you see indentions on what normally is a smooth abdomen. I had Allie shoot these in the natural light after they looked so yellow in my bathroom, so they are actually a bit more graphic...I am going to tell you these are a bit more gruesome, they are closer up so you can see the plastics closure of my suture line and what the drain sites look like, we also took pics of the areas of my liposuction and the black shows up because we show more of them this time, keep in mind this is post-op day 10, it was much worse. Also, I reacted to the tape they put over the dressing today when they removed my tubes and on my bellybutton, you see swollen areas and even some blisters and pus on my belly button...my skin seems to be so ultra sensitive to things it usually is not, so please pray and if anyone has suggestions or comments I'd love to hear them...I really appreciate every ones prayers and support!


This is my right thigh, you can see the suture line with no external stitches and the two small puncture sites, it you look close enough you can notice I have some swell and redness from the tap they used today.

This is my left suture line with the drain site visable, there is a blister to the right of it from the tape. The steristrips are what closed the skin and I'm letting them come off as they come off.

Right puncture sites and incision again, the yellow lighting was becasue it was in my bathroom.

Incision line and belly button right after the binder and dressings came off. You can see the drain sites on my hips.

Same as above :)

My left hip, still swollne with some black showing at the bottom. You can see some scattered open areas of skin but they are healing so well. That straight line is tape goo, but I can't get it off yet becasue the skin is healing...

The right hip. It really shows how far the incision line goes to that hip. This is not the best coloring but you can see the shadow of the red bruising and the black area. Both hips had black areas at the bottom, I think it might have to do with gravity or where I laid to be honest.

This is my belly right after I took the dressings off and the binder, you can see the indention of the thin gauze on my belly button. You can see the puncture wounds on the left side and one of them on the right where the drains were removed today. I honeslty don't know where that 4th drain site is, I can't see it now after one day...

Pretty much the same as above

My belly button that now seems somewhat infected, yeah that is pus on the left side of the photo (dang it, I think this is a reaction to the ointment they put on it this morning because it is much more swollen, irritated and of course there is the pus) It still has some internal sutures and I hope it is going to be OK....I cleaned it put aquaphor on it and dressed it with tape I don't react to, here is hoping it is better tomorrow...

Alright, I have to admit after going to the doctor I slept until 4:30 that was about 4.5 hours. I guess just a little activity really wipes me out still. My abdomen had felt kinda weird, it kinda burns and just aches, I would guess it is from those tubes coming out, but it might be from the binder as well. Just kinda enduring...:)

I felt so positive this morning...and seemed to have taken some steps back today through the day much to my surprise. I really don't seem to be able to handle much activity and my skin really is reacting to ointments I'm trying, tape, even dressings so my friends that pray....PRAY Love to you all :)

Post-Op Day 10

ALL 4 DRAINS are OUT...WOOT WOOT, stitches around belly button are gone too! WOOHOO. I am now down officially 15 pounds(thank you LORD!), I still have edema around my hips to "go some where". I have about 3-4 pounds still to go with what they took off in the OR (remember I lost 11 before surgery) I now have very strict NO LIFTING orders and CONTINUE to TAKE IT EASY. I'm allowed to get out and walk around my culdesac "occasionally not daily" He (the surgeon) gave me back a binder to wear. The problem for me is I just don't have much body at 4'11 I seem to be mostly legs, he kinda laughed when I pointed that out and said you really don't have much of a trunk, especially now, but it sure is a nice shape." That is the most humor I have seen out of him. BUT it did make me feel good to see he is happy with how I'm doing and I can tell he is pleased with the results of his artistianship. He was kinda amazed I'm off pain meds except to sleep, and he was very happy at how the bruising has really decreased to the lipo sites, the area that had opened is healing well and he feels fine I am off antibiotics now.

As you all know I still can't drive and Allie is my driver so of course she goes into the appointments with me. Now, this is a girl that cried after watching me get stitches in my arm so I really wondered how she was going to handle watching 8 inches of drains come out of my belly. She kinda had a shocked look on her face and jerked her head back and just looked at me with those huge brown eyes and said, "Did that hurt?" No, it really doesn't, one much of my abdomen is still numb and two it feels like a soft tube is traveling out, slight wormy moving pressure is how I describe it, absolutely no pain. She said she thought the drains would be a couple of inches long, she had no idea, that was her shock. The stitches coming out of my bellybutton didn't hurt either, I'm still numb there :). I am getting some feeling back in my belly probably 2 inches to either side of my belly button including that and straight down to my incision is numb. It is weird but NO area below my incision is numb at all. I do still have numbness on both hip liposuction sites BUT it is decreasing and it itches as it does. I have to wear a t-shirt under my binder because it will continue to rub my sides. This binder is only about 5-6 inches in width but it covers me entirely right below my breasts to where my thighs bend. It really is kinda nice to have the binder since I'm coughing some and having to blow my nose to clear the thick crud that is tried to take residence there, it just is that external support you need. I think it will be great to sleep in too...

Alright, Allie had to go to work BUT she is going to take pictures when she gets home tonight so I might post them later on. Actually, going to the doc made me tired, we stopped and got bagels at Panara, they have that great deal of 13 for about 13 dollars with 2 tubs of cream cheese. I LOVE those asagio cheese bagels with a tad of butter, that is lunch for me....Hunter can eat 3 for a snack....LOL

So good news at the doctors, he thinks I will need 6-8 full weeks of recovery, he is honestly I think most concerned about my upper muscles he closed in my abdomen, if not for that repair I think I would be back to normal much faster. Ok a lot of activity for one day....I think I'm going to take a nap and listen to some Andrew....;)

Post-Op Day 9

Alright, today was the best day yet. I'm basically off pain meds except to sleep, there is no way I could sleep for probably more than 20 minutes without them, while laying down. I do sleep in my bed at night with a pillow under my knees and thighs. It takes some of the strain off of laying flat. I seem to be just about over this upper respiratory thing, my skin is healing well and I'm just not so down in the dumps. I did talk to some of my best buddies today and that did make a difference...

I really did not expect the level of pain I had. I thought it would be comparable to a C-section but it is really not comparable. Then again I had 3 procedures done vs surgical delivery of a baby, and I found out it is very different. My son politely pointed out I am 16 years older than my last c-section....although I appreciate his input (not) he probably is right that age might be a factor...

The things I have been able to do today that I have not so far are: Get out of my recliner easier, walk around more in my room, not take pain meds, I had an actual phone conversation with a friend for I dunno 3 hours...much to my embarrassment I did not recall having about a total four hour exchange with her on the day I came home from the hospital. Listen that pain med...it makes you act normal but you have no memory of it, at least I didn't. I don't think I remember much until that Monday or Tuesday....I lost total conversations with people, my kids are telling me still things I said and conversations we had I had NO CLUE about.....I don't know about you all but for me it is a scary thing to not remember conversations.....I hate I was that out of it...I guess that is considered a blackout...

Alright, well tomorrow is D day...I go to the docs around 10:30. I MIGHT get my drains out, I have 4 in vs the 2 most people have, he said last week 2 out this Monday, I'm still hoping for the total 4, I have milked the bejezus out of them to get the fluid off my belly...I'm hoping that will pay off in the morning. My surgeon is such a gem he did no skin closure on me except for my belly button, so I wonder if those will come out tomorrow since it will be 10 days post op. Gosh I'm so glad I have no other sutures or staples to come out. The drains coming out freaks me out a bit and so does the belly button sutures, but if I had to face sutures coming out all across that LONG incision I would REALLY be dreading tomorrow...as it is I am still up at 1:32 AM....I need to take my meds so I can drift off but my favorite movie is on HBO...PS I Love You...I'm such a sap and what girl doesn't love an Irishman? Maybe I won't get through the day without tears...Ok I just have to say that bar scene where he taunts her to sing Karaoke and she breaks her nose...I laugh every time...I'm such a sucker...

Post-Op Day 8

Wow, that pain medicine knocks me out, I might have to start taking 1/2 of a pill of it in the mornings, I sleep most of the afternoon away. I just got up at 2:30 I slept for probably 4 hours. I will say that sleep does produce the growth hormone and that encourages tissue growth, so the more I sleep the better at this point. Waking up in the morning is somewhat painful because that means I have slept on my back without moving much through the night, laying flat is hard so I do wake up hurting, I don't think that will be any different until those muscles stretch a bit.

Those liposuction sites are numb/itchy today. I'm going to have to take care of those in a bit after getting in the shower. My daughter made meat loaf, mashed potatoes, and mixed veggies, I have not had much red meat yet. Wow her meatloaf is GOOD :) Meatloaf sandwiches with white squishy bread and Hellman's mayo are one of my favorite sandwiches!

Alright, some of you might wonder what I do all day...because I have been medicated I watch a lot of TV right now. I have to say I'm pretty grateful for Christian television. There are some great preachers on TV these days and this has opened my eyes up to some of them I wouldn't know about. My favorites or those that I look for are Jentezen Franklin, Perry Stone, Joseph Prince, Anderew Wommack, Joyce Meyer, and Joel Osteen. Andrew speaks to me more than anyone else does, he is just an awesome preacher who teaches things others don't but they all have their good points. You can look them all up and I'm sure find out a slew of negative things written about each one of them,as well as positive and I have heard it all...I have learned after many years being a Christian to watch or listen to who ministers to me and to check it with the Word, I take the good and leave the questionable or the disagreeable. I read a ton, I read the Word and just meditate, in fact I fall asleep meditating. I have a new Bible study I'm starting too. I listen to a lot of Andrew, but that is nothing new, I watch documentaries on netflix and some fun movies too, so basically I'm still recliner bound and stay in my bedroom, my kids are running the house for the most part and are very helpful. They come in and keep me company and I love that. I feel very fortunate to have the kids I do. Hunter is my nurse and Allie is my storyteller and chef. She is working a lot and spending time with her new beau...Hunter is going to start work in a week, he wanted to make sure I was settled in more and more mobile than I am now before he starts working. We all laugh when we are together...mostly at each other, the three of us are a great team :) I have not been on the phone much, I just don't have it in me...I have not been up for much visiting...

This has been a long arduous week but I no longer count the hours or minutes until I can have something for pain. Coughing doesn't feel like it rips me open totally, and I can almost stand straight, if a week of time has done this...I'm looking forward to where I will be next weekend. I just keep reminding myself I was back to work 14 and 16 days post C-section with Allie and Hunter, if I could do 12 hours then hopefully by next weekend I will be feeling better....

Post-Op Day 7

Alright so after that long blog I ended up sleeping the whole day. Guess I needed it. I had someone over who mulched the yard pulled garbage bags of weeds for me, since I won't be able to do that for a while I REALLY appreciate it. It was HOT today and I know it was hard work...

I only have taken pain meds this morning I'm going to take some before bed, I honestly can't remember if I took one or two this morning, I think it was one.

I took a shower and got the alcohol out to rub off all the tape goo, got most of it off, some of it is REALLY stubborn, so a work in process. I got some great tape I hope it doesn't leave the goo, this is the thicker, skin colored, waterproof tape, the great thing is it doesn't itch like some other kinds and it is flexible with your body. OK, so I hit the scales again and I'm down 13 total pounds from what I came home, I'm under 4 from what I weighted before I went in. It is obvious I still have quite a bit of water and fluid to loose, I honestly have been eating very little since I came home. I'm making myself eat to be honest, I have had no appetite, I'm doing a lot of chicken and rice and veggies. But 3 more pounds will be indicative of loosing what water weight I gained as well as the tissue loss. I know this is going to take time and bodies seem to take a year after contouring like this but I'm telling you my results are pretty drastic...

Showers, makeup and hair blown out make you feel so much better, OH, I can even raise my legs to shave them in the shower now...that is some serious progress :)

The kids are going to be gone tonight, Hunter is at a concert with one of his buds and Allie is going on a date with her new guy....wish I had gotten those netflix movies in....Alright, that is it for today, I am obviously doing much better!

Post-Op Day 7

Alright, so today I woke up doing pretty well. MUCH better than the past two day. I'm telling you I cried and cried yesterday and I just could not talk to people, I felt sawed in two and I just felt despair about my entire life. I guess some days of intensive pain do that to you. I was trying to wean my pain meds to 4-5 a day. I think that was too much too soon, I ended up taking 5 tablets yesterday after talking to my Mom, she thought I needed something for pain, I will say once I took a tablet I felt better....

OK, so lets talk about the physical aspects of surgery. Liposuction, guys this part looked totally brutal, I had extensive red and black bruises, I was not sure if some skin was going to sluff off, and I'm serious it was that black. Those areas were three times their normal size, I had these HUGE hips with a flat stomach. The swelling was so extensive those areas felt hard as a board, BUT they were numb, I took some pics last night I'm going to upload with those areas being much improved! The surgeon said it would take 3 months for the swelling to go down but I'm not sure I would ever do liposuction again in any other area. I think I would do lipodissolve instead for those areas that don't respond to diet and exercise. I AM GLAD I HAD THIS DONE WITH THIS PROCEDURE because it would have looked strange having the hips I had with a flat stomach, it was needed but it was an issue with healing. I could not wear the abdominal binder for one because it rubbed the skin off. I found the binder helpful in keeping the swelling down and in just giving support of the vast incision site. For the open skin areas I used A&D baby ointment. The surgeon was amazed at how those areas healed, he honestly couldn't believe it. He asked me what I used again and wrote it down. In all honesty I have never seen any other product heal skin like A&D does. I frequently tell my patients to use it for chapped noses with colds, burns, minor cuts, anal pain with diarrhea, scrapped knees etc., EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE comes back and raves about how quickly they healed (overnight). I'm excited to see how the lipo turns out after the swelling subsides. I have seen many pics of those having a tummy tuck with all that weight left on the sides and I did not want that so ultimately I will be happy I'm sure opting for this technique.

Hernia repair. This is what initially started this procedure. My abdominal wall ruptured after taking my first couple doses of chemo, I lived with it for a couple of years not well enough to undergo surgery. Once it started to rupture further it could no longer be ignored. I could have just had the hernia repaired but I opted after talking to surgeons to have plastics do the procedure along with a tummy tuck. To just get the hernia repaired I would have had a long horizontal cut with mesh graft in. I'm a nurse and I have seen people return and have continual problems with that procedure. I gained so much weight on steroids and most of it was held in my abdominal area...after talking to plastics they said no amount of weight loss would truly help my abdomen. It might decrease some in size but for the most part I was stuck with that big abdomen and smaller legs and arms. They felt like I would get a permanent result by them doing an abdominoplasty and the hernia repair at the same time. That way I would not have the weight of my lower abdomen pulling on my upper abdomen muscles weakening them, not only that the muscles needed to be brought together in my upper and lower abdomen. I had a 4" gap closed in my upper abdomen and 6" closed in my lower abdomen. I had 7 # of fat and skin removed from my abdomen as well as the liposuction of my hips done. I'm going to be embarrassed to show those before pics once I get them from the surgeon but I am going to so you can see the drastic difference. I just can't believe that is was me, but it was.

Numbness, I have numbness under my belly button, and where the liposuction was done. It is slowly coming back to normal, when it does it itches. You really have to be careful NOT to scratch especially the liposuction areas, have a great emollient cream to rub in for the itch, A& D works but it is greasy...so I used my bath and body cream, it is thick non-greasy and takes that deep itch away.

Medicines. I took percocet 5/325 for pain. As my Doc reminded me you have to be careful to not OD on tylenol dosages which is 4 grams a day. The 325 is the tylenol dose so if your taking no other meds with tylenol in it you can take 12 tablets only a day. I get migraines since chemo, I usually took tylenol #3 or amerge for the HA, we didn't want to do the amerge because of how it clamps down vessels, he ordered firocet which also has tylenol in it, taking the fiorcet decreases the amount of percocet I could take so you have to decide how bad that HA is, but the Fiorcet WORKED. My doc put me on cipro for 7 days post op, I'm sure I had some IV antibiotics as well. I'm glad I had that cipro for a few reasons, one I had a catheter in the hospital and cipro treats UTI's well, it also treats skin well, and is broad spectrum for upper respiratory infections. Since I had some open skin areas I'm glad I had the cipro, also my throat seriously felt like I had strep, I have had some PND (post nasal drip) that was really thick. I'm not sure I didn't get something in my Upper respiratory tract but this seemed to knock it. I really feel like the cipro stopped at least one secondary infection. I get nausea with those headaches so he gave me some phenergan suppositories which I have used a couple of times. I took celebrex once a day, it is the one anti-inflammatory that doesn't inhibit platelet formation. With all this swelling it is nice to have an anti-inflammatory. I took flexaril as a muscle relaxant I already had, he ordered skelaxin. I took 5 mg of flexaril twice a day and at bedtime I took 10mg, I got dizzy with the flexaril which is a common side effect so I took it when I planned on going to sleep for a bit or just rest in my chair. I took a capful of miralax once a day. After using that then I took a duculox suppository. You will get results in about 30 minutes with that suppository. Not only that but it relieves MUCH gas. I hate to talk about this but it is a big deal in this surgery, you DON'T have the ability to push with constipation and this totally elevates this issues. Some people because they are on narcotics don't have a bowel movement for 7 days or so. One I can't imagine the pain that must cause and Two, I think I just would have been done in with anymore pain, but again I had a total wall reconstruction done.

I don't know what I would have done without my Mom getting me this recliner. If you purchase one for the surgery, and I highly suggest you do if you don't have one, get one that is easy for you to sit all the way back in with your feet still touching the floor. Make sure it is comfortable to your lower back, make sure you can pull the lever used to raise your feet easily. I now sleep in my bed at night but I live in the recliner during the day. Pillows in the bed does NOT cut it, I tried. Chairs with ottomans don't cut it either which is all I had in my home.

Incision care. My surgeon opted for a plastics closure meaning I have no staples or stitches to take out except around my belly button. I have steri-strips and the sutures holding my drains in. I'm really hoping I get the drains and sutures out Monday. I use diluted peroxide on the suture line and aquaphor around the drains. I keep the drains covered with a small dressing just so the drains don't get pulled more than anything else.

The new belly button. This can be a big issue. I told my surgeon I DID NOT want that round open button. He sculpted out some of my stomach above it so it would fall a bit. I had a little umbilical hernia so he said he just had to work with what he had but he sutured skin on top of skin and I think in the long run this is going to have a very natural nice result.

OK this post is long and I hope it is informative. If I continue to do well today I will try and upload some pictures.

Post Op Day 6 (Photos)

Wow, today has been a bear. I slept for about 3-4 hours this afternoon and have been miserable ever since, tears miserable. I got in the shower thinking it would help me. I swear I feel sawed in two, having both these procedures done to the abdomen at the same time, whew was just not easy. I know I'm going to be happy with the results but for the moment this is more than difficult. I thought it would be like a c-section...nope, much harder on me, much. I swear I don't know how in the world people go through all those procedures for those plastic surgery shows. Hunter is going to rub my neck and I just took some pain meds. OH, one more thing for the day I got on the scale and had dropped 11 pounds total. Maybe I can rest and feel better tomorrow. Getting the fluid off does help...:)

OK, so the description of the pics is as follows: 1st one is new belly button and incision line, notice the completely flat stomach! Yeah, I have a little birthmark on my stomach and yes he apparently tried to sculpt me out some abs ;) On the 2nd picture you can see where he placed my drains on my thigh it is the same for both sides, I came out with 4 drains, the lighting fools you a bit on this one because my stomach is really flat and it doesn't quite look that way but then again it might be just how the incision line makes it look. The 4th pic is my left hip where he liposuctioned keep in mind this is the 6th day post op so much of the bruising is gone although it is still swollen. The drain entrance is vi sable in this one as well. OK, hope you enjoyed the photos and they were not too graphic for you...

Post-Op Day 6

Alright, so I got on the scale this morning again...it seems all I did yesterday was diurese (pee)...so I was wondering how much fluid I lost...the scale is down 8 pounds this morning. Thank goodness, because I really third-spaced in my belly and hips, I mean they were more than taught. You could tell fluid was just sitting in tissues, with that kind of edema you have to just wait until it moves into the circulatory system to eliminate it. I'm much less taught today and that swelling decrease has helped my pain level to decrease. Last night I started with a runny nose, and coughing. Listen, I simply was not going to have it, I prayed and spoke to those symptoms to disappear and I woke up totally clear this morning. That is a praise! I took a couple of pain pills early this morning and it is helping, I'm trying to wean off those meds as much as possible at this point but I do wake up in a fair amount of pain. OK, so back in the recliner. I might actually have my daughter take some pics today, we will see...but I'm going to rest for now, might actually get up and make some cream of wheat...it just sounds good to me this morning.....

Post-Op Day 5

Alright, so I slept most of the afternoon. Friends who are not calling till I get a bit better, I actually appreciate it. I'm not up for long conversations. My throat has been so sore it hurts to talk or swallow....I'm not thinking clearly either. But man something hit me after the docs visit. I guess it was because my doc showed me the pics of the tissue he took off....OK seven pounds almost of skin and fat...it was a whole OR table full...amazing....so I wondered as all us women do, what do I weight now? Keep in mind I have an incredible amount of swelling and fluid to still get off but when I weighed myself I was 7 pounds higher than when I went in, so if you include the tissue that is gone, I gained 14 pounds. How does that happen to us women? I'm sure if I were a man I would be under 2 at this point...sometimes it sucks being a woman...

Post-OP Day 5

Went to the docs this morning and he said I was healing remarkably well. My skin has healed over where it had rubbed off. The suture line looks great, so does the belly button, he said the contouring on the hips would take 3 months to settle in a bit, they are SO swollen but the black red purple bruising is subsiding. I'm sorry folks but this is still a bit too gruesome to take pics of and post them. I did get pictures of what was removed sitting on an OR table. All I can say is wow, that is a lot of tissue I don't have anylonger...WOW...I may post that for your viewing pleasure....I will go back on Monday and hopefully get some drains out, I have 4 we are hoping to take it down to 2. I'm allowed to walk around the house "on occasion". He said I was not able to walk around the neighborhood. I tend to push things when it comes to recovery but I'm not going to this time...I don't think I could if I wanted to...too much pain!

Alright that is the update for today so far...it is nap time :)

Post-Op Day 4

Sorry I didn't get a blog out yesterday. It was HARSH, so far the hardest day. I could not think clearly for the pain...I tried to put on a smile for my visitors but yesterday was just hard....

I for one could not seem to get comfortable. The pillows in my bed of course shift and when they did I would be crooked....it would hurt to straighten and it would hurt to stay crooked. I couldn't win and that was until I got a surprise delivered I never expected. I'm just going to say right here that I do love having people in my life that are lead by the Spirit of God...it is a gift and the more people you have that operate that way the better off you are...God often times uses these people to minister to us and show us not only his love but theirs....My mom said she felt compelled to go out and purchase a recliner for me. The Doc said that was the best way to recuperate and that most people slept in them. I have no recliner, I have soft cushion chairs with ottomans, that is not the same....So on her way home before she ever hit her house she went recliner shopping. She found and purchased a small recliner made sure they had the same one in Louisville called my kids and told them to go pick it up. I had a recliner in my bedroom by 1:00. IT IS MY FAVORITE CHAIR! First of all it is a little recliner...my feet can touch the floor sitting all the way back in the chair (that is RARE). I don't sink into it until I'm stuck, it is easy to get in and out of and I can easily put the lever up. So my advice is to get a recliner that fits you well before an abdominal surgery. My body was screaming and once I sat in this chair it calmed down to a dull roar....Want to know something else great? When Mom got home she had gotten a check in the mail she was not expecting that not only paid for the recliner but gave her an extra 100.00. I love God and how He took care of not only me but my Mom in this situation. She works so hard for her money...I mean she is 73 and still works full time. This recliner purchase for her was no small thing...so Mom THANKS...I needed that. I believe it was sleeping in the recliner and the support it gave me that allowed me to feel much better today.

My throat is SORE it feels like I have swallowed glass. It is just from being intubated I'm hoping the pain of it has peaked and I will be getting better each day now. I have such a deep voice right now...all to be expected...throat lozenges have not helped much

OK, now I'm going to get a bit graphic and I hope this doesn't bother anyone but part of documenting this is so people can know what to expect. Now in surgery physicians use cautery as they cut meaning your getting burnt as they go. Today, let me tell you, I felt the burn and no amount of pain meds really can help that. I KNOW where he cut and where he sewed me together and I know where he had to use the cautery the most cause I could feel it from the inside out. I know from past surgeries this peaks at day 3-4 for people then it starts to subside so all day yesterday I just kept telling myself this was the worst....and I could get through it...

Tips...make sure you get in a shower every day...I didn't do hair and makeup but I did shower and I think the warm heat helps the muscles. Brace your stomach with your hands when you cough, if you can wear a binder that helps with coughing but always brace yourself. Drink and get plenty of rest, days when you feel good you can overdo it and feel much worse the next day. Don't overdo it, play it conservative...For me this is a big one...let people help you, let them buy recliners if needed, bring food, and run errands. My kids are helping so much I am glad to know they are being well fed. Every meal brought in matters!

Post-Op Day 3...

OK, yesterday was a blurr, really I lost some time...I think it had to do with the fact I could push pain meds anytime I needed them IV. I remember getting my Foley catheter out and finding such pleasure I didn't have to be cathed after that when I had to go tinkle. I remember feeling glad that the best thing hitting my lips wasn't going to be green jello and salty beef broth. I remember feeling glad that I could have Phenergan, Percocet, Fiorcet and a muscle relaxant all at my fingertips for the asking...I remember wanting to walk to "push past the pain" and being told to go back to bed....I remember waking up wondering here 1/2 my body seemed to go, then I remembered...

I remember my kids coming in laughing at me...I remember telling them they could call me a skinny b**** now, or skinny, just not b****. They had total enjoyment out of that conversation. I will just say I am not responsible for my vocabulary when Dilaudid is flowing through my veins at the rate it was.

I also remember how whimsical eating ice-cream feels when you have the completely legitimate excuse of feeling bad. I also remember what it felt like to do as many sit ups as you can in a minute with 100 as the goal in elementary school. I feel like I pushed past and hit 150.

Now, this is something so disgusting I can't believe I am even going to print it but here it is...I don't recall ever feeling happy that I could pass gas at excessively long intervals so frequently. Of all treatments combined the most beneficial were Miralax and the Ducolax suppositories. When everything is tighter than a drum air has to escape somewhere....if it does not you will simply hurt till you want to sream. I have to tell you I praise my surgeon for addressing what many forget. He indeed is a wise man who lets nothing escape him....:)

I have some pretty severe bruising on my sides where some liposuction contouring was done, some skin was rubbed off by my binder, I don't think my surgeon like that so much, so he said not to wear the binder any longer. I kinda liked wearing that binder, it made me feel secure, BUT THEN I got to see my incision....all I can say is WOW what a beauty! Plastic surgeons (the right ones, can do a beautiful job) This particular one seems to be somewhat of an artist with a scaple. I have heard only great things, not only from the public, but the nurses that took care of me. I was treated like royalty for the lone reason I was "his patient" Trust me folks you want your doctor having that kind of respect with the nursing staff, it ensures they go out of their way to take the very best care of you. I felt very blessed

My stomach muscles have not kissed like this evidently since before pregnancy. I feel like I'm doing a perpetual sit-up or holding my stomach muscles in with all my force...but no they are now stitched to kiss...and that is a GREAT thing!

Alright it is time for pain meds and netflix...To all those that I love and that love me, I'm doing great! To all those who want to see pictures...they are coming, the surgeon took some before and after pics, I'll pick them up this Wednesday when I go see him. I may have the kids take some tomorrow...to post for your viewing pleasure...

One thing...did you know they reconstruct you belly button? I did, but what I didn't realize was that it would be placed where gravity had not affected it for the last OH 25 years...so be sure and appreciate my "high inny"...No, I didn't say hinney....

Post-Op Day 2

On day two of recuperation...well this was the news this morning, I had an entire abdominal wall rupture. My upper stomach muscles were spread by 4 inches, he said he really had to do some work to suture them back together, my lower abdominal wall was worse at around 6 inches, but all muscles are sutured and secured back to the Siamese twins they should be. He estimates 7-8 pounds of tissue were removed...WOW...He doesn't want me up walking around and wants me in a recliner...I have no recliner at home so we will make due the bed pillows...I think my daughter is going to get me a arm rest pillow she can later use for her dorm...I'm not allowed to stand up straight or lay flat and I am handling that fairly well. I'm just such a stomach sleeper but I'm getting over that....:)


This morning, I went from the pain pump pushing Dilautid every 5 minutes to Percocet every 3 hours. He also ordered Fiorcet for the headache, and IV Phenergan for the nausea. I have not needed the Phenergan but twice. After two rounds of Fiorcet my migrain headache is gone. I'm eating a soft food diet which really is regular food...Man after one day that is pretty remarkable...The abdominal binders, and I have two that cover my entire abdomen, really provide some stabilization comfort, the drains take out some of the fluid so the swelling decreases. I still have an IV going, I guess it will be stopped tomorrow. I had some pretty significant nausea and so we did not want to push fluids...smart choice on his part. I feel very well taken care of by my doctors and the nurses. It is also great to have family around...I have learned two things, one, this doctor is very well respected by the nurses on the floor. He makes sure his patients get the best care...I can't tell you how many times I have heard "This is Dr. Noels patient, so we HAVE to do so and so" The other thing is it's great having family around. Just getting up and going to the restroom, having your hair combed, getting things arranged in close proximity to your bedside all help when you don't want to wait on an aide or you feel like your being too demanding on them. Family can also go out and ask for pain meds if it has been a little bit longer than you anticipated, get you fresh ice water, drinks, snacks, and reading material (but if you know me you know I brought my portable library).I've opted for pain meds in the shorter time frame and a double dose, to stay out of pain is a huge key in recovery, the facts are you WILL get up and walk and move and breath deeply and cough. All those help in circulation, pneumonia prevention, and generalized healing, My pain at this point is about 6 over 10 and I'm due pain meds in 15 minutes. I don't think our pain scores should ever get to be 8 because by the time you get pain meds on board it is excruciating and then your in a downward spiral...I've been able to stay on top of the pain and this is how you do it for all those out there wanting to know how this process can be as pain free as possible. I will say the physician disagrees with me a bit, to have too much pain coverage encourages us to maybe over do it. Success depends on none of these stitches bursting....so less pain meds and less action is what he wants, so we all live and learn.


These binders help more than I can tell you they are thick and tight. I believe it helps to relieve the pain, by just external support they also keep the swelling down and both those help you to cough. BUT since they were rubbing some of the skin off of my hips he stopped the wearing of those....Oh well, it is all progress!

Surgery...went GREAT

Alright, I'm going to write a quick update here...Surgery went well, I'm able to drink clear fluids, I'm on a pain pump that is working ridiculous well, and I have a huge binder around my entire torso so I have not seen the scar yet...

I'm hooked up to a few monitors and I don't believe there has been a blip on the screen...Isn't God good!

I will tell you all I'm doing fine. I'll post pics when I get home, I didn't take a before I couldn't get it done this rushed me a little faster than I was experiencing...

Right now my greatest pain in my upper abdomen so if you can all pray accordingly..I would I would appreciate that :) Just took another hit on the pain pump which means I'm gonna be napping in a few :)

In Him, Lori

4 days left!

OK, so early up this morning and off to the hospital and Drs. office for pre-op preparations! I'm home with Panara Bagels in hand for the kids who are not even awake yet....

The doctor was fairly excited and animated this morning about the result we are going to accomplish here...I'm THRILLED at this opportunity...and why do I say opportunity because it is just that...A General surgeons surgery and outcome would have been much different...and to be honest I would have come away feeling disfigured. By plastics operating I am not only going to get this hernia repaired but my entire abdominal wall reconstructed with a hidden scar for the most part. I have had a devastating two year stint undergoing treatment, BUT I am determined to come into a place stronger, wiser, and healthier than I have been in years. Until this hernia started to rupture I was starting a walking/running program. Through this healing process this summer (I will have 6-8 weeks off) I am going to work at getting my physical body back in shape. I told my daughter this year I want her coming home from college to RUN the Susan B. Kolman race this year on Oct 10th. I know that is just a 5K but you have to start somewhere... I should have enough training time in to be able to run that race well...



You hear this said so many times but sometimes it is not until something is taken from us for us to realize its true value. Multiple times a day I find myself praising God for the energy I feel and the ability I have to move, not only do I want to run but I want to do yoga as well limbering my joints past the pain...God certainly healed me miraculously but it is up to me to choose to be the picture of health from this point on...I plan on rocking it out!

The deathbed shot

My biological father is in the hospital...He is battling cancer mets from his colon to his liver and lungs. When my 1/2 sister came home from high school (yes I typed that right he had her when he was 61) on Friday he couldn't communicate with her, he wouldn't even look at her. She called a family friend and he was taken to the hospital. He was then flown out of the local hospital to the University hospital...they are working him up now to see if he has brain mets....

So why am I posting this story...because I would like prayer for my Dad... he is not saved, does not believe in Jesus or what he did on the cross. My Dad has heard "the story"...my Dad at one time believed in Christ(in his college days), he says he no longer does....I use to think that once someone has turned from the Lord they can not be saved...BUT I have come to understand that I do not know the heart of my father... I don't know if he was truly saved to begin with... Judging this situation as hopeless would be placing myself in the position of our all knowing God...and the Word is fairly explicit when it says only God can judge the heart of man...

I'm looking at this hospitalization as mercy from our Father, for another shot so my Dad can hear the Gospel and believe...I thought today of the the two murders that hung next to Christ as they all were dying. I wondered if they had family that had given up hope for them to be saved....how nice it might have been for a mother, or sister, or daughter to hear the words of Christ stating "Today I will see you in paradise".

My Dad is not going to hear the gospel in his home, he has no visitors, he does not watch Christian TV, I don't believe he owns a Bible...it is going to take someone directly going to him and preaching the Word of God to him...I pray that this happens and that my fathers heart is somehow transformed...and that he accepts Christ...

Nine more days...

I just have to make it 9 more days...that gives the plastic surgeon his shot instead of the general surgeon. As many of you know that means a completely different way of going about this abdominal wall reconstruction...along with hidden scars :) In my early nursing career I had the benefit of working in the OR. There is really nothing like seeing a skilled surgeon make better a difficult situation for that patient. I often times would wonder if lay people would ever realize the artistry of a good surgeon...at that point I had no idea that one day I would be one of those patients in need of some artistry...



I have to say this economic crisis makes me very grateful for physicians who are willing to work for less money than they probably should. It makes me angry that insurance companies get to dictate how a procedure is done or they withhold payment. I wonder how much longer we are going to have insurance coverage for things like breast reconstruction after undergoing a mastectomy, since it is considered cosmetic, and after all, no one HAS to have their breast. I wonder why it is because I'm opting for plastics to repair this hernia via a tummy tuck procedure that I have to pay for 1/2 of it. A general surgeon would split me from sternum to pubis bone to repair this entire abdominal wall, and if your in medicine you know those surgeries not only disfigure you but leave you open to further abdominal wall rupture and incisional hernia going the length of that incision...Waiting 9 days will not only cost thousands but it will leave me with a smiley face vs a vertical line and abs I can view again...it will also leave me with a much stronger stomach wall that will endure this lifetime...they money for me is worth it...AND I am seeing a top plastics guy who much to my appreciation lowered his fees by 1500.00 dollars. Sometimes working in medicine gives you breaks in medicine :)



Now, yes, I am a Christian, I have prayed, but my stomach has not closed on its own. I have prayed about this since it started 2 years ago...I intensely prayed about my health and fasted 9 months ago...at that time I was healed of RA...but this hernia is an issue where I have not found healing manifesting itself yet, it also is not something I can/will not deny. I don't believe we are to deny sickness, we are to seek healing from it...I don't have the answers here...except to say let God be true and every man a liar...it is ME certainly not Him that is "missing it"BUT I do have a peace that I will make it 9 more days....and about this time in the evening maybe I'll be sitting up in a chair sporting my new smiley face...