Fall is here

Fall is here and it has been an amazing summer...

My daughter graduated from high school in May and somehow we got her settled into her first year of college at WKU for photojournalism. I'm so proud of her, who she is not just her accomplishments...

5 days after she goes to school my son gets his first car, BEFORE he got his license, he has his black ride waxed, oil and transmission changed, oil filter, air filter replaced and he tinkered with it all on his own learning as he went...

I had a major surgery, it has helped to put my body back together after effects of chemo. Honestly, I'm still recovering but this has put me on the road to health. Not even when I had children was I able to get away from work for more than 16 days, to have 9.5 weeks off to heal was needed time...I could have honestly used more but it was adequate. I'm still working on balancing home, work, kids, and the endless list a single parent has that you only seem to make a dent into...

I'm starting a running plan tomorrow, it is suppose to take 10 weeks to get you running a 5K but I want to run the Susan Koman race in 6 weeks, we will see how I do...I'm not worried just glad I get to start training...

I met back up with my best college friends I ever had...they are awesome ladies and we still had that bond..it was pretty amazing...

I was able to go to a Clinician Congress meeting meet up with some friends in Ga on the way...I'm so blessed with some truly Godly friends. Absolutely no one can take their place....I carry their love, and wisdom, their hopes and prayers with me, even miles away it surrounds me...

I got to do some deep cleaning to my home that has been neglected over the past couple of years when I was sick. I painted walls, washed woodwork, organized a few closets, threw out boxes of stuff and I have made some nice progress...I don't feel so overwhelmed at the prospect of putting the house on the market after Christmas and having it be sellable in this competitive market...

Those are all big things but there are two things I have yet to mention that have changed my life from the inside out. One is I have been going through an "Esther process". I didn't really know when it started for me but I know I am on the journey...I started an Esther Bible study Jan 15th of this year...so I guess my year is up in Jan best I can figure...I'm still aware I am not there...this is a journey but I am actually enjoying and looking forward to anticipation the next steps...and for those of you who are unfamiliar with the story Esther was an orphan taken with a large pool of girls to see who would win the kings heart...she met the king at 10 months and married him 2 months later. To me the amazing thing about the story of Esther is not that she "won" the king but the position it gave her to save the Jewish people...I still don't know what all this means for me...and I don't believe the point of all this is marriage in a year...BUT it has seemed to be a time of extensive healing with "special treatments". I have been grateful for all that has transpired so far this year and how God has shown me in real time to live above the storms of life and follow peace...I'm just different now and it is a permanent change....

The last thing is and this has been the most significant...I am learning about rest in a completely new way...months ago I realized most of my life I have done what I thought God wanted me to do but I did it in relation to my own strengths and talents. I approached things from the center of me, not Him. Resting for me has been about learning to stop, not rely on my strength or skills but His. I have come to see God as my creator, my children's creator, my friends creator, and my families. He knows them and can deal with their hearts and lives in ways much better than I can. I'm leaning to speak only when He tells me to, to act only when He tells me to, to pray about what I see and honestly give it to Him to deal with. I have never so intimately conversed with Him over my friends and children, my job, my home, and the activities I am involved in as I do now....I am leaning to follow peace and I find at night when I lay down to sleep because of all this my mind is not going in 1000 different directions. I am calm and restful...I trust when I don't know what the details are, I have faith when I see no evidence of progress, and I have a different kind of hope for the future than I have ever had. The love I feel for my friends and family has exploded...and I doubt many of them are even aware...as I'm pretty quiet these days in my blessed assurance....

The final thing is I realize my time in Kentucky is going to be short....I actually dream of mountains...I want to go to Colorado Springs to Bible College there. I'm going to start correspondence school but I want to move....almost every night I dream of mountains in the back drop and when I see pictures of them my heart soars....My son about fell out of the chair when I showed him Andrew Wommack was starting a music school...that boy is killer on his drums...I know he and I are to make this journey...I had to get my girl settled into college, she has dealt with so many abandonment issues I felt it was important for her to feel secure in her new found independence. If I had gone and just left her this summer before she went to college I believe it would have taken years out of some of the intensive investment I put into her. I was not willing to take that chance...like many parents sometimes empowering our kids means we lay down our life for a period of time until the green light is there...surprisingly the light is already yellow...