A peer, A sunset, A Bible, and my Daddy

This is the first time I have told this story publicly. I'm writing this as a dedication to my Daddy who taught me how to love...this is part of that story....

My Daddy married my mom when I was 9 years old, I was in the 3rd grade. In the summers we would travel to Florida in our VW bus to Port Charlotte to visit my grandmother. Those were great family memories....This was the summer of the 6th grade and my Dad deeply thinking pulled me into his lap in my Grandmothers livingroom. He told me he felt like I was his real daughter, I told him I felt like he was my Daddy. He told me he had one problem, he didn't know how to parent me, he didn't know what to do. He confessed he had been such a failure as a father to his boys, he was lost. I was surprised by this, then he asked me what I needed from him. How do you put that into words when your 12? Only one thing came to me, and it was difficult to admit... I told my Dad I didn't know right from wrong or good from evil. I honestly saw that if I did not settle that issue I would have no real chance in life. I was a mess and I knew it. He looked shocked at this revelation from me and then he told me this and I'll never forget this...."Lori, I don't have all the answers but I know where to find them. Let me pray about this and you pray about this and we will go to the peer tonight and talk about it. " So we both set out on our day...I talked to God pretty regularly since I was six years old...I really didn't know what prayer was but I knew I had an audience with the Father when ever I wanted it....I just said,"God help me", that is all I could get out, that is all I knew to say...The day dripped by until evening....Dad and I sent out to the peer and he had his Bible in hand...

This is what transpired on the peer as the sun set....My Dad said Lori there are times I don't know right from wrong, I don't know good from evil and I certainly in this life have participated in wrong and evil acts but this (the Bible) is Gods standard. If you agree to bring any question to me we will search out Truth together but we need to do something first....Dad opened his big thick page tattered Bible and turned to 1 Corth 13 and began to read...somehow truth began to infuse me but I did not understand where Dad was going with this, then he paused starting with verse 4 and began to read....

(4)"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

(5) It is not conceited; it is not rude and does not act unbecomingly. Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it.

(6) it does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

(7) Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything.

(8)Love never fails....

He went on and read that beautiful chapter....but then we went back to vs 4-8 Dad explained to me that we could indeed find truth and righteousness but first we needed love. I had to agree that chapter of scripture was so wise to me (still is) but it was also something I could not fathom. At that time my Dad said, "Lori, to go on this journey together we have to decide to love one another because without it we have nothing. You have to learn to be patient, and kind, you have to know that I am going to at times do harm to you, it may even feel like evil, I am going to fail you, but at those times you have to choose to forgive me and not hold me accountable. You have to believe the best of me, and you have to always have hope, your going to have to endure a lot....but if you can do that our love will never fail"...My eyes were the size of saucers...all I could think of was the abuse I endured and barely survived at the hands of my real father. I'm sure I paused quite a while as I watched the orange glow on the water....all I could do was respond with this..."Well then you have to be patient and kind to me too! And when I grow up I know I will probably disappoint you, and make decisions you wish that I wouldn't, but you have to always believe in me. When I do wrong things you can't hold it over my head, you have to believe I am the best (I really said that...he laughed then...I was getting it...). I'll probably make you really mad but even when I do you will still love me, it will never fail....Right?" "Right", He said. In that moment my Dad and I decided to love one another admist all our failures and insecurities. We made a very conscious decision to quest the Word as Daddy and daughter. I can not tell you the peace that surrounded me, we sat on the peer in silence for a long time watching the water and the fish jump...I had no idea the impact that moment was in my life but I knew it was significant....

I tell this story for a couple of reasons One, is today we are so far from Gods definition of love...people casually say it giving it no credence...I'm telling you, seriously, "I love you" does not escape my lips easily, I tell my children and family, I tell my dearest friends, but I do NOT say it casually because I know it is an agreement and in that agreement I have to be willing to never let that relationship end, I know I can not fail that relationship overall....I have never sat down with another person and talked love out like this...but I can tell you this...doing that with my Dad transformed my life and it transformed him. I would not in any way be who I am today without that beginning. On that peer in the sunset power infused us and it was not of our own...

My heart broke when my father died...but now that time has started working through the crushing heart break I can once again palpably feel his love. I can tell you the Word is true, love never fails...

The other reason I tell you this is I began to learn that day the power of Gods Word, and the richness in doing things Gods way. That day began a Bible Study quest that my Daddy and I never ended, we always went to the Word to seek out truth and have it be our standard. I learned all about right from wrong and good from evil, but that was just the beginning...when I open up the Word my heart, and spirit, and soul are renewed to deeper understandings....I hope this encourages others that when they feel lost and confused, when they can not do things in their own strength...God is there...he calms the confusion, there IS Power in His Word, and if you pray for wisdom you will find it...if you knock the door will be opened....

The next day we went to Ft. Meyers and rented Catamarans to sail on. My Dad and I went out alone and suddenly the boat started to almost vibrate and groan, we were at full sail rapidly moving across the water....I got scared and said, "Dad what is that?"....He layed down and relaxed with one arm under his head and the other hand holding the rope and said, "We're in the "groove" Lori, it is called being in the groove". Suddenly all around us were fins...well back in that day Jaws was a hit show, I was terrified...My Dad sat up and touched my shoulder and said, "Lori we are in a school of dolphins"....He whispered to me, "Enjoy this moment, it will probably never happen again"...there are times words absolutely escape me, that was one of them. It was a beautiful moment that seemed to be a sign from God...and my Daddy was right it never happened again....

I'll never forget those days and 1 Corinthians 13 takes me back every time I read it to those rare moments in time...to a peer, the setting sun, a man and his daughter, grooving with the dolphins...we all should be so lucky....